Lullaby
by Smokey-Loki
Summary: Who knew Angels could get nightmares. "I watched you die, Dean." Castiel flung sharply. "I watched you die... Over and over..." He repeated softly, his voice breaking. Dean felt his eyes widen. Castiel's personal hell was watching him die? Destiel. Lots of fluff.


"Dude. Whats with the aggressive octopus arms?" Dean groaned into his pillow.

"I dislike sleeping." Cas's reply sounded bitter. That woke Dean up a bit more.

"What? Why?" Dean scowled a bit, but only because he was trying to predict what Cas might say.

"I believe you refer to them as... nightmares." The low rumble of Cas's voice vibrated into Dean's back.

"Wait really? Angels can get nightmares? Dude what about? Hell?" Dean snuffed out the rush of flashbacks from his own time in the Pit. Castiel paused, as if thinking.

"In a way, yes." He agreed, unhelpfully.

"Whats that mean?" Dean persisted, his curiosity getting the better of him. Cas was another kind of quiet this time. For a much longer time that before.

"Hell for Angels isn't necessarily being physically tortured. We don't have bodies in the same sense that you do. Our pain is felt on an emotional, spiritual level." Cas spoke barely above a whisper. "One of my brothers was undone by Alastair planting doubts about God into his mind. His torture is entirely 'internal.' Dean rolled over in Cas's arms and lied on Cas's chest, using his own arms to support himself over his Angel.

"Cas... you didn't have… Are you going to be ok?" Dean's expression was that of pure concern, his green eyes flicked back and forth between Cas's own blue eyes.

"Loosing something precious. Over and over and over again… is torture… for me." Castiel continued but closed his eyes hard, as if it hurt to think about.

"I dont understand. Cas, what do you mean-"

"I watched you die, Dean." Castiel hissed sharply. "I watched you die... Over and over..." He repeated softly, his voice breaking.

Dean felt his eyes widen. Castiel's personal hell was watching him die?

Dean pushed himself off of Cas a bit, watching as Cas's eyes flung open at the sudden lack of Dean.

Dean stared at Cas for a long time. Confusion, realization, heart-melting mushy feelings that Dean was pretending didn't exist, and then determination.

Dean leaned back down and kissed Cas's temple.

"Well then. I'll just have to put you to sleep the right way." Dean decided gruffly.

"And what is that?" Cas asked honestly.

"You'll find out tonight. For now. De-stress sex." Dean chided, grinning at Cas's head-tilt at the 180 twist he'd just put on the conversation. Damn that was hot.

* * *

Castiel was lieing on the motel bed wearing nothing but a pair of Dean's jeans. If he'd known the Chimera's fire breath still worked, perhaps he'd be in his own clothes. Dean and Sam had gone out to get food, but the sound of the Impala pulling up preceded their return.  
Cas could tell the brothers were having an exchange outside. It wasn't heated, just a discussion. Probably about what time they'd head out in the morning. Then Sam left to his room, and Dean unlocked the door to his and Cas's.

Castiel lifted his head to watch Dean as he flounced in. He had a drive through bag in one hand and a shopping bag in another. He looked at Castiel lying on the bed and made a noise deep in his throat.

"I should burn your clothes more often." Dean smirked with a huff, not even pretending to hide his wandering eyes.

"I disagree with that plan." Cas pouted. He was scowling at nothing and emitting a general aura of upset.

"Well aren't you a bucket of sunshine." Dean tsked, depositing his burger on the table and walking over to his Angel. Cas sat up at that. Dean? Leaving food? "Anyway. I figured you'd be bitch-fitting about your stupid trench coat-"

"Over coat." Castiel corrected, glowering at Dean's accusation, which may or may not have been true…

"Whatever. Anyway. So we passed this place on the way back from getting food and… Well. I just didn't wanna have to listen to you whine all night. So here." Dean rushed out the words and shoved the shopping bag at Castiel, who tilted his head. Dean rolled his eyes and sauntered back to the table to devour the poor unsuspecting burger.  
Cas peered into the bag and felt his eyebrows rise. He reached in an pulled out a tan overcoat, nearly identical to his original. He felt the material between his thumbs and felt the corner of his mouth turn up a bit. Cas slipped the over coat on and smiled to himself.

"Thank you Dean."

Dean grunted, not looking at him.

Castiel got off the bed and walked over to Dean, who only looked up after he had wolfed down the burger. He was licking his fingers when he finally glanced at Castiel. Dean inhaled suddenly and promptly started choking. He coughed and sputtered but held a hand up so Cas didn't mojo him.

"Cas for fuck's sake! Can you wait to give me a boner till AFTER I eat? Jesus man!" Dean sounded hoarse as he shifted in his seat, turning to look the angel over. Seeing Castiel dressed in just a pair of Dean's own low hung jeans, no shirt, and that damned overcoat… well that was a bit too much for Dean to handle at the moment.

"GAH!" Dean grumbled unintelligible complaints to himself as he cleared away the trash and went to go polish a gun or something, leaving a head-tilted Angel of the Lord in his wake.

After wasting the rest of the evening with weapon prep and watching Cas mojo up another pair of his own clothes (that he suspiciously did not change into) Dean finally glanced that the clock that said it was late enough to go to bed and not look like a pansy with a bedtime.

"Alright. Time to sleep." Dean pushed himself up off the chair he was occupying. He'd long ago gotten ready for bed. Castiel, on the other hand, had been sitting rigid for the past few hours. "That means you, ya half-pigeon." Dean fired at Cas.

"I'm not a bird, Dean." Cas grumbled, sounding pissier than normal. Dean chalked it down to being secretly terrified to sleep.

"Your ass. In bed. Now." Dean hit the lights and made his way back to the bed. He flopped down on his side and waited for the chicken. Soon enough he felt the bed dip on Cas's side. "There! Almost done already." Dean chimed cheerfully. Castiel took his time settling into bed, closing the space between himself and Dean with a few wiggles. Dean threw his arm up around Cas's shoulders and let the angel burrow into his side. Dean wasn't cuddling. Not at all. _Castiel_ was cuddling. Clearly.

Dean stroked Cas's arm and rubbed small circles on the soft skin wherever his fingers made contact. He waited till the dumb chicken's heart beat calmed back to a slower pace.

And then, Dean Winchester began to sing.

Not his normal yelling rock music singing. Though that was damn good singing too. But this time he sang softly, barely audible at first, actually. Castiel stopped breathing to hear better.

_"You are my sunshine…  
My only sunshine…  
You make me happy,  
When skies are gray…"_

Dean's singing wasn't exactly perfect, but to Castiel, it was sweeter than the sound of heaven itself. Cas held his breath the entire time Dean sang and a few minutes after he ended. Silence hovered over them both after Dean finished. But finally the Angel broke it.

"I love you, Dean Winchester." Castiel's voice vibrated in the dark.

"I know." Dean grumbled in the dark, but Cas had his head against Dean's chest and could hear his heart galloping. "Yea, well don't get to mushy on me ya teenage girl. It was either that or AC/DC."


End file.
